fjfjfjfjfjfj

I do not feel well. I kind of feel sick, but not especially sick. I may have the Avian Flu, but I am not certain. I ate two hot dogs today. Yesterday I swore off meat. I am a man with no will power.
Yep.
Fuck You,
Rick Cork

Here comes the Fuck Yeah

I'm going to start running this ship a little more tightly. It is not going to be so random and pointless. I am going to focus more and the things you will read will be more in depth. More pictures, more features, more of what you deserve. Fell free to scream fuck yeah, I know you want to.
Thank you for your continuing support,
Rick Cork

Here I come..

I'm going to Kansas City on WEdnesday. I know what is in your head now--that song. That song--I'm going to Kansas City, kansas city here I come--goes through my head constantly as of late. What we need in this town is a song like that, something not good, just catchy. We need a goddamn jingle and the visitors bureu(speeled wrong but you know what I mean, theres an a somewhere) needs to worry about the jingle before everything else. Build the city around the jingle if you have to, but you need the jingle. You need people to get excited that they are coming here. Instead of, "Aw jeez, I'm goin' to Rockford" it should be " Goddamn happy sunshine nothiing can stop me from enjoying true happiness now that I am on my way to Rocccckkfffooorddd!!!" Right, I am right, Get on it before I do hustler.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

So what....

There is a time in every man's life where he must consider his net worth. What is the value of me living here on this planet one second longer. What does the world gain by having me here doing whatever it is that I do? What do I gain by living in this world here? What have I accomplished and how has the world changed by having me as a tenant? Will stock in the world go up or done if all of a sudden I am no longer here to perform my functions in it? The smaller questions that make up the bigger questions, those are the ones we as individuals can fuck with. We cannot wrap our head around the big question, we cannot--or at least we should not be able to--eat an entire Whopper in one bite, but one bite at a time eventually it will be consumed and, well that's a bad example because: I have never eaten a Whopper, and I have never heard of anyone walking away from a Burger King with any more cosmic knowledge than what they entered with, so never mind bad analogy or whatever.
So do I think the world has benefited from me being here, in some ways yes, I do believe I make other people's lives more pleasant if even for just a slight second. Have I benefited from being here, yes I've met many wonderful people who have helped me to understand the world around me in a much more deep and profound way than I ever would have alone. THe thing is I do not beleive either I or the world at large are really taking advantage of what we really have here. WE are bound to benefit in a much larger way than we are currently doing, we can not fully reap the rewards because we have not put as much effort into sowing the seed my friends. You get to take away only what you put in, reap what you sow motherfucker, Reap WHAT YOU SOW. So where do we go from here, onward and upward, well that goes without saying, but where else. Sideways my friends, sideways, and upside down and at an angle to the left. Every one is going onward and upwards, thing of all the mental real estate available in backwards and downwards, or sideways and inverted, or something.
Fuck yes my friends we are going to tear the heads off these un-believers, there is something special happening my friends, and like it or not we are all a part of it. There is no for or against, just a fucking part of, period.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork
(If this made any sense to you please contact me at theguywiththethings@hotmail.com, I have some questions I would like to ask you, I don't really understand it all, or at all, I just wrote it)

Hugh Hefner

Did you know the first issue of Playboy was published in Rochelle Illinois? Well it was and I know this because I read a history of the beginning of Playboy Magazine in the Fortieth anniversary issue; and to be honest it inspired me. Hugh Hefner put everything he had on the line to get out what his vision of a mens magazine should be. He went out and preached to the masses his philosophy and they believed in him enough to invest in what is now a national institiution. Some even went in and bought stock in an unknown company at a dollar a share. Twenty years later when the stock went public many of those original investors became millionares. Valued at $750,ooo for every 100 shares that is a hell of a payoff. I am asking you people to have that same sort of faith in me when I get my act together and put out what I believe a magazine for weirdos should be. I want my vision on every coffee table of every misfit and ne'er-do-well in America and the civilized world, and two copies on the floor of every hut in the uncivilized world. I have something to say dammit, and I just have to figure out what the hell it is, put it in a nice package, and put it out there to be consumed by the hungered masses. All in good time my friends.
By the by, on Friday I am taping an episode of Rick Cork's Super Happy Fun Hour, this will just be the pilot in what will one day become an institution, or maybe I'm just doing my friend Dave a favor. Either way wish me luck, and I wish you luck in whatever it is you decide to do with your fucking life my friend.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

...............................................

I have nothing to say.

And neither do you.

What would happen if we shut our fucking mouths every once in a while?

Why don't you try it asshole.

Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Hello, I'm Guilty, Let Me Show You My Shame

I feel like I've done something terribly bad today, I just feel guilty and miserable, I might know why, I might not. I was dishonest, I lied about a couple of things, I misplaced something and I decided not to take responsibility and instead lied about it. How do you make up for something you've done wrong after you have done it and realized it was wrong, Who do you talk to in this situation, How do you set it right.
Do you do something to compensate for it, even if it has nothing to do with what you've done wrong? Does the universe even work that way any more?
Maybe I should have just gone to work today and sucked it up, instead of staying home and working on things I felt I needed to do to make myself happy. I am failing as a human being, I am certainly not proud of myself, and I hope sometime in the near future I can set things right with the world at large.
I lost the poetry slam because I was not as good as the other poets, and that is something I have to live with, and work on. This is my Blog of Repentance, I still feel dirty.
Thank you for your support ( even if I don't deserve it),
Rick Cork

A flier for a band,( I live with the bass player, she is my girlfriend)

"Look out that window Sally, that is where everything dies. We are safe in here. We will never leave here, I promise."

I was born and then you died

Look, I'm sorry that I have not been here much doing what it is that you love me to do. I'm a very bury guy and frankly I can't make time like I used to. I just want you people to know that I care for you deeply and hopefully we will meet again someday, even if it is in hell, or heaven, or some other imaginary place full of wonderful--or horrible thngs--and I take comfort in knowing that either way you will be there with me, all of you son-of-a-bitches.
Also I won fifth place in a poetry slam, I really blew it and I am disappointed in myself, so much so that I have been told by a doctor that I shallnever smile the same way again. Maybe I can take this as an oppurtunity to improve myself, use it as a stepping stone, or a building block, or maybe I could just hold a grudge and go through the rest of my life believing that my short comings are always someone elses fault. It's a tough choice, and I am not setting anything in stone as of yet, though I will admit that I am leaning toward the grudge side just because I have been being to forgiving and generous with other people lately, and I kind of think I should even it out a little bit, too much good Karma just seems boring to me. So grudge it is.
Thank you for your support,
The-ever-lovin'-brownd-eyed-Rick (Cork)

Some pictures from a book about a little girl.

I can feel it coming in the air tonight...

Today is my last day as a twenty five year old man. Tomorrow I will become a ripe old man of twenty six. Twenty five is really going out on a bad note, this would be the definition of a shitty day, not a good way to end what started out as a good year. As I look out into the horizon of what is to come I see sadness, a big long sadness. I can feel it crawling out in the back of my throat, and I will accept it and live with it and deal with this sadness accordingly. I have never been able to escape this feeling, it just follows me along, my sad little shadow that every once in awhile jumps on my crooked little back and lets me know that goddamit it is here to stay for a bit. It's a little like the cliched monkey on the back, only less obtrusive, it is just always there, just a little bit there, whether you are fully aware of its presence or not. Today I am aware, and i accept it for what it is, something that will pass, slowly, but surely. I don't mind it, it's something to do and deal with, not like I don't have enough on my plate already, but hell I'm an American, and we love love us a fucking full plate.
Thank you for your support,(I missed you all)
Rick Cork

hggff

yoyou

hhuh

In the Eye Of the Pain Hurricane ( I wanted to say tornado, but I don't know if they have eyes)

Hey there everybody, how is it-your life- going? I am not actually in pain, or anything resembling pain, but that phrase popped inot my head and I felt compelled to write it down due to a mild case of OCD. I of course have never been diagnosed with OCD, but if I were shot in the head by a shotgun I would not neccesarily need a doctor to tell me that something was wrong, you just kind of go with your gut feeling on some things.
Speaking of gut feelings, did you guys know I actually have the outer part of my right leg attached to my stomach, it's called a skin graft. I also have a manmade belly button, they had to cut a hole in the skin that they put over my stomach in the area of my belly button. If I had actually been concious I would have asked them not to cut the hole just to see what would have happened, I think that that would have been the very definition of interesting at least for a year or so. I am at school and I just got done with my Saturday Spanish class which leads in nicely to the television program Sabado Gigante, four hours of spanish language variety programming.
Speaking of variety shows, I am putting one on in about two weeks at the Irish Rose and I am in need of talent, or what passes for talent nowadays. Are you ultra bendy, can you smoke cigarettes out of inappropriate holes in your body, can you do something besides just sit around and watch t.v. all day? If so please contact me, even the smallest thing would make a world of difference. Contact me @ theguywiththethings.hotmail.com. Maybe this link will even work this time, maybe, who knows, you probably do, good for you.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

I Didn't Miss You, But I Kind Of Did.

It's been awhile since I have written anything on this here thing. One of the reasons is that each time I would "log-on" a great feeling of depression would come down from the ceiling and take the wind out of my sails. I just couldn't bring myself to write, not for the life of me.
I suppose the reason is this thing has been sort of depressing as of late, mopey and uneventful and pointlessly self reflective, like a diary almost, and open diary that people could just drop in on and have their way with. I felt vulnerable, and scared, and alone, like a mute retarded man in a box: a box made of lead.
I just tried to use a colon and I do not know if I used it properly, but it felt right; and since I am taking English at the moment I figured I would field test it-the colon that is- and see how it worked.
Now see I used a semi-colon and a dash in the last sentence: I am not sure if I used them properly.
Enough of that, I just want you to know I am back in fighting mode, and will take on all comers.
If that does not make any sense, well, all the better for fighting.
A special not to all you special people with special talents such as spitting fire or swallowing swords or some shit such as that: I will be celebrating my 26th birthday at the Irish Rose and will be holding a talent/variety show at that time. The date is September 11th, yeah the bad day where the world went crazy and America began to eat itself away with fear and revenge as well as in fightng and back biting. This however will be a day of celebration and jubilation, a sign that we are moving forward in our pursuit of the American dream of pointless and endless forms of amusement. If you are interested in performing a song, a skit, or a little dance number, or if you know someone who would be interested please e-mail me @http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com and I will gladly put you on what is now a short list of entertainment.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Where Do We Go From Here ( Didn't we have some good times)

I am trying not to take myself so seriously, I am trying to not be so concious of everything, trying to just live, "go with the flow", all that shit that I know would feel so good and right and it's exactly what I need to do. The only times I have been truly happy are these times, these moments when you live with the head turned off, not listening to that little voice that makes you aware of every little misstep, that questions your every act, what is my motivation, why am I doing this, where is it leading me.
Trying to focus on unfocusing does not work, being aware of your inability to be unaware is not the way to go, how do you just turn off the concious and walk through the day unconciously, a breezy sort of parusal through the world of matter and weight and touch and sight and sound.
Super Happy Fun Time where are you now that I need you must, why have you abandoned me to these boring wolves, why am I forced to ramble on about nothing for paragraphs on end?
Tomorrow maybe things will get back to being weird and interesting, for today it is more of the boring quarter life crisis, thank you and good night.
Oh, and by the way, thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Here is the Brick Wall, There Goes Your Dignity

I am back from a trip to Wisconsin, a chance to catch up on old things, and drink too much, and not think about all of the things it is that you normally think about, I needed a vacation, a vacation from my problems. Now that I'm back though, all my problems are still here, I still haven't workied in what's going on three weeks, I haven't been able to help pay a goddamn bill since I don't know when, I am finally going back to school but I don't have the money to pay for the books, there are still broken empty promises being made by may Dad, he can still let me down and lead me on and lie to me and have me believe in what he says even halfway across the country.
Where do I start, what is the proper way to get out of a fix like this, who can I turn to when you turn away, I've lost my creative juices, ambition and drive are at an all time low, these are the tough roads, where some people turn to religion, or drugs, or suicide, not me, I just turn mediocre, I curl up and fade into this background version of me, I lose interest in progress or any of that sort of stuff. I know it's not like I'm in the middle of fighting some war, I'm not starving in a third world country, my town is not some disaster area, I have food and a roof over my head, I have people around me whom I care for and who care for me, yet I am still feeling like shit, and rightly so, and I am aware that this is my own mess to clean up, I am aware that I put myself in this bad position many years ago and I am just now reaping what I have sown, but knowing all this does not make it any better, not in an immediate cure all kind of way anyway, but it is one of those small little steps you have to take in order to get where your going, the first step on a long journey to somewhere you've never been to before, somewhere you never imagined you could get to. Fucking baby steps, baby stepping to the future, stop kicking myself when I'm down, or allowing others to do so.
Super Boring Self-Help Time, I know, and I apologize, but no one made you read the damn thing, I'm just spilling my guts for the sake of spilling my guts, and now I feel a little bit better seeing it written down, and how ridiculous it reads, and how good I really do have it, and everything is going to be fine, the sun WILL come out tomorrow, and where there is a will there is a way, and if anyone has it I could use $322.50 to help me pay for my school books, I'll pay you back on or around October 6th when the rest of my grant money comes through, I need it by thursday so don't hesitate to write, every little bit will help out.
Thank you for your support( monetary and otherwise),
Rick Cork

A picture of me my Grandpa and the best woman that ever lived

This

is a picture of me as a young blonde man, the man holding me is my Grandfather Bob Beardsley, Bob is not short for Robert, it's just Bob. The dark haired woman is my Grandmother, she passed away about a year ago, she has dark hair in this picture, but I will always remember her with blonde hair.

This lady might just look like some random woman, someone you might look over at the Wal-Mart or something, but if you would just give her a minute of your time you would have the pleasure of meeting one of the greatest women who ever walked the face of this god forsaken planet. This is a woman who would go out of her way to make me smile, no matter how bad of a day she was having, no matter how much stress and anxiety she was experiencing, she would be there for me to make my sorry ass smile.

She was an unselfish woman, a woman who would give me her last dollar, or anything I would fancy in her house, I would end up taking home at some point. This is a woman who was my sanctuary for a long time, my safe haven, she would take me in and nurture me back to what resembled a good clear thinking individual, and she would send me on my way, even though at times I never wanted to leave her sight. This is a woman who I distinctly recall squating down in the middle of her own kitchen and pissing her pants because, well, it was funny. I won't go on for a long time, I'll come back to her now and then, I just wanted to share something with you that was important to me, something that shaped my life in one way or another, in this case many times over. I also just wanted you people to have the oppurtunity to lay your eyes on one of the greatest women that ever lived before you passed on, I am sure many of you never saw her, if any of you ever did at all, and I'm sure you might have seen her at the store or a Garage sale and just looked her over and dismissed her as some random human being in a world full of random human being, and I thought I would just give you a second chance to gaze upon her glory one last time, and reconsider your first impression.

Thank you for your support,

Rick Cork

If You Don't Understand It(A Guide To Enjoy The Super Happy Fun Time)

Here's a picture I did a while back, I thought maybe you people might enjoy it because it is funny or something, maybe it's profound, or maybe you just like the color purple and guys with coyboy hats. I am working on getting some of my other art together and doing a thing with just pictures, but we'll see if that ever happens.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

It's official...I've been had....

After going nuts on yesterdays installment of The Super Happy Fun Time, after being so over joyed I did not care if I made a fool of myself, it has come to my attention, I am not number one, there was no Gary, it was a hoax, a ruse, and I was fooled into joy, and now I am sad.
I am sad because I thought there was a Gary, I was sad because I thought he had taken the time to write how he felt, how he felt that I was number one, but now I am back to nothing, sent off into the void of obscurity once again, with my beaten tail between my wobbly weak legs.
There is no Gary, just some prankster who feels the need to mess with people's lives, who feels the need to pull the rug from under poor men's feet, someone who is jealous because her boyfriend will never be the man that I am, because her boyfriend has taken everything that made Rick Cork a name that could be trusted and counted on to provide the very best in local entertainment. Very well whatever, they know who they are, and I hope they are very happy, because I am not, not now, but soon, for I seek vengeance, and I seek retribution, there will be virtual blood on the virtual streets and the Super Happy Fun Time will be had by al but those two, for they shall feel my pain tenfold.
There may be no Gary, but there is still a Gary Award, and it goes out to the person who best exemplifies the Anti-Super Happy Funtime spirit, it goes out to those who would piss on my perfectly fine parade. This week the Gary goes out to Matilda Von Mordor, I hope you are happy that you made a mockery of the Super Happy Fun Time, I hope you are happy that you have made me the laughingstock of the bloggerworld, made me into the outcast you always saw me as, out in the cold, starving, hoping that one day I will be allowed to wander those happy halls of Bloggerdom with my chin up once again, someday, you can count on it.
To everyone else, thank you for your Support,
Rick Cork

It's Official, I am #1

Good news Super Happy Funnites, we , or ar least I am number one, I knew we could do it way back when this thing started, and thanks to you, and myself, we have finally done it.
Now that we are number one it means that people are going to be gunning for our spot, it means that we are not safe anymore, we don't have the luxury of being the underdog or the little engine that could anymore, now we are the big engine that did.
So don't expect this roller coaster ride of action to suddenly become inactive or unimportant, don't expect us to fade into obscurity like Buster Douglas did after defeating a stunned Mike Tyson and shocking the world at large, and then falling off the face of the planet the next week.
No my friends we have reached the summit, and it has a nice view, a damn nice view, and I intend to see it for a long time, with all of you at my side I believe we can do it, until I die.
Speaking of when I die, who will keep this sweet little puppy running, that is a good question.
If any of you folks out there think you've got what it takes to play in the big leagues down here in Super Happy Fun Timesville, please feel free to send me a sample of your work @ http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com. As you are all aware Peter Jennings just died and it made me realize that maybe I might die someday as well, and I need someone in place to carry the heavy load for me after I am dead or whatever.
Also thanks to Gary for giving me the good news about being number one, you are also probably number one at something too Gary, and I hope you find out what it is before you pass on, because after you are dead, there is really no way to find that kind of thing out.
For giving me the good news I am proud to make Gary the Super Happy Fun Time Gary of the week, the Gary is an award that I just made up right now that is awarded to the Super Happy Fun Time Super Happy Fan of the Week.
Congratulations on your Gary Gary, and thank you and everyone else for the support,
Rick Cork

Now I am A Big Man Who is On the Campus Or something like that....

I am at the local college, I have registered for what they call classes where I will learn things which will allow me to become successful and fulfill my "potential", and once I have learned what they consider to be enough they will give me a paper, a special piece of paper that syas I can go about the rest of my life in pursuit of excellence and total domination of everything marginally related to my field of interest.
That is a bunch of hogwash, I don't know why I am going to school exactly, maybe because I don't have to pay for it, maybe to meet people outside of my normal social circle, perhaps just for something to do to while away the hours in my twilight years, or maybe just maybe I want to learn something and become a better person in the proccess. Because the more you know the more you are able to dominate and control conversations, and everybody loves that guy, the guy that rambles on about anything and everything, the man who can't be stumped, the guy who would look gorgeous behind the podium on Jeopardy, well that's going to be me goddammit, so get used to my voice because I will be talking it up soon enough brother, prepare to be led astray by the best.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

My days as a Wascally Wabbit are done

I admit sometimes I miss being yong and dumb and not really caring about what happens, to me or the world in general. I miss not being interested or bothered by major world events or politics or all of these other things we are inundated with everyday.
It's not that I don't care, because I believe I genuinely do, it's just that sometimes I miss the ability to not care, to not have a worry in the world that didn't have something to do with me directly. This is not easy to say, in fact it is embarrassing and totally undermines everything I've spent the last couple of years trying to build for and around myself.
I want to be a good person, an unselfish person, the kind of guy who goes out of his way for others without even giving it a second thoght, I want to be the American Ghandi, or the male version of Mother Theresa, I want to help those in need, not with just thoughtless handouts, but to help others help themselves. I want to leave the world a better place than the one I came into, I want to make an impact on the people around me in the short time that I am here.
I don't want to be some vigilante or crusader, some kind of cult of personality or figure head, I just want people to look back when I'm gone and dead and say, "That Rick guy, he sure was a good fella', I always liked him, not because he was rich or handsome, though he is very good-looking as far as I am concerned, but I just liked being around him, he made me feel good."
But sometimes goddammit, I just want to sit there and not think, not feel the urge to go outand do a damn thing with my life, sometimes you just want to run around drinking and screaming and tearing the city and people to shreds, sometimes you don't want to think about consequences, or tomorrows, or next years, or centuries even, sometimes you just want now to be the only thing that matters, to imagine it has no affect on the future, or that there won't even be a future.
Unfortunately this is not the world we live in, everything matters, everything is building on the last thing, there are consequences for your actions as well as your inaction, and at times it is completely overwhelming and crippling, you want to do so many things, there are so many oppurtunities that you are paprlyzed and end up doing nothing, end up missing every last goddamn oppurtunity, left standing outside the party staring out into the nothing that you have built for yourself.
The fact is, sometimes you just miss being fifteen, and it's embarassing, but it's the truth.
Oh well onward and upward, it's ten years later and what do you have to show for it.
Well I'm still alive godammit and that's a start.
Good luck to me, and good luck to you, may our days be fruitful and plentiful.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Wow wee woh wah.....

Yesterday we had a pretty good turn out at the Guerrilla artfare, who knew hispanic Jehovahs witnesses were so into arts and culture in this town. The Witnesses only stayed shortly before they went on about their daily business of ignoring birthdays and Holidays, hopefully they will be down again next week, they added a special flavor to the whole ordeal, and they make a lot of garbage.
It might sound wrong, and it may be the wrong thing to say, but I figure it will be at least half okay since I am half hispanic. What I wanted to say, or question, or wonder about is the hispanic Jehovah witness. From my experience Hispanic people are a festive people, they go all out at birthday parties and during the holidays, just how exactly do the hispanic Jehovahs witnesses supress this urge to participate in the celebrations, that from my experience, hispanics excell at.
My Dads side of the family really knows how to throw a hell of a party, and it just seems instinctual and effortless on their part, I was just curious.
Yeah, sparking some controversy, sounds good.
A man who shows up most Sundays as of late also made his presence felt by putting on a karate demonstration before he went on a twenty minute rant about how he was going to have the chamber of commerce sponsor his karate team, (which is not quite assemble yet, if anyone is interested he's the sweaty guy who lost some fingers due to frostbite). His team of Karate experts which he will personally train will work for the city and take care of the kind of jobs that the police wouldn't touch. He does need to work on his skills a bit, he's 45 and a bit out of shape, but he figures that by June of 2010 he will be in the best possible shape of his life, I for one believe him very much.
Also one last thing, I am trying to put together what will be a blind art show, two people working on seperate parts of what will eventually be one piece, all without seeing what the other is doing. It will be two boards that line up at certain premarked points with a certain color to bring the pieces together. No one will know what the entire piece looks like until the day of the show. If anyone is interested please contact me, there is no place to display yet, nor a set time, but I figure we can get together and begin working on it for the next year, if the next year even comes.
By the by, if tomorrow never comes would you know h0w much I love you? Just Curious.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork.

Contact me @http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com

Friekin Armpit I am On the Verge Of A Leavin'

So now it's that time where I say goodbye, I'm leaving town for the night and I am really going to be worried about all of your lives, what will happen when I leave, could I have done something if I were here, prevented it maybe even, who knows.
These are the kind of questions that keep me up at night for about five minutes. This is the kind of responsibility I have on my crooked calcium deficient shoulders, the ones that are not even fit to be cried on, let alone carry what amounts to a pretty big chip.
Hopefully everything remains the way I left it, and I want you to just go out and have a good time without me, don't worry your pretty little heads about me, I'll be out living it up, worrying myself sick about all you people, but it will be just fine, I know it will be, I hope.
Maybe I'll even bring you all something nice back, just to let you know I was thinking of you while I was in Milwaukee, cause I might be, you never know. Let's try this, around ten, well I'll think of all your smiling faces, and you picture me alone in a corner with the filthiest porno magazine that they can legally sell in these here United States in one hand, and a big glass of chocolate milk in the other, a red t-shirt with my face on it, and some dark brown pants that you've never seen me in before, but you'll be damned if it doesn't seem like I've always had them, red socks, Reebok pumps, a latex glove on my head in homage to Howie Mandel when he was actually funny, before he started bringing hidden camera clips of himself doing supposedly wacky things. Maybe, just maybe if we both do this at ten, maybe something magic will happen, but I'm just telling you know that you should not be surprised if nothing happens, but you know, maybe it will.
Also I'll see all you rotten bastards on Sunday at the Guerrilla Artfare down in front of NAT, this time we mean business, not business as in we will be selling anything, and not business as in "He was really giving your Aunt the business in the coat closet at the family reunion", but the kind of business where it means we are really going to just give it our all, because that's all you can do sometimes really isn't it.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Wake Up and Smell the Goat Cheese Anton, It's Go Time.

Welcome one and all, boys and girls, dumb and stupid alike. This is what is happening in your neck of the woods whether Al Roker is into it or notAlRoker.com. So the world is going to hell, so there are the bombs, and the weather is a mess, and we are running out of oil, and you can't find a job or pay your bills, and goddamit nobody lives you, well that is fantastic, you know why? Because you are alive, you are alive to experience all of this mess, and you will be alive when it all gets better,(maybe, I'm not promising nothing), or if it doesn't get better.
We are not living in some isolation tank, no boy in no bubble, you are out there feeling and living through the pain of everyday life everyday, and that is amazing, because you weren't even supposed to make it this far, but you did dammit, and there is nothing better than beating the odds black and blue day in and day out. You go to your room and look through those obituaries and then you go outside and thank your lucky stars that even though your name is not the days headline in the daily rag, at least it's not in the obituaries, not today at least. Keep your chin up baby everything is looking up for you, we're going to make it after all, and if not, damn them all at least we gave it our all.
You my friend are a lifelong champion of the highest degree, and I am the luckiest man alive because you are spending a few minutes here with me reading my goddamn blog. Now go outside and have a good time, it's good weather for living out there you lucky son-of-a-bitch you.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Hey it is the super happy fun time after all

Hey everyone, it has been a while but well I've been absolutely busy doing jack shit, ha, ha,ha.
It's nice that you stopped by today, to say hello, or just to hear what it is I have to say, to tell you the truth I missed you.
We were released from work early today due to the threat of rain, this is what is called a roofers holiday. There is no secretary holiday, no fast food worker hoilidays, no Kinkos holidays, no sort of janitors holiday, but a roofers holiday, yes,yes,yes.
I made a sandwich for lunch and I went to eat it, and it was covered in ants, welcome to the mundane my friend, but that is life, is it not?
I have an art show in Milwaukee this coming Friday, another chance for me to stand around uncomfortably drinking and watching people as they go and look at my "art", until they feel my gaze upon them, and they walk away uncomfortable. This is the only way I know of to level the playing field. I like doing the work, I enjoy that part, but putting it on display for strangers, that makes me uncomfortable, and then trying to sell the stuff, trying to being kind and cordial, attempting to give them the feeling that this thing on the wall is something special, well it's not exactly the most natural thing for me, but I am trying, I am.
I guess that's about it, I thought that I had some heat going into writing this, but it quickly evaporated into the smoke and mirrors road show that is this blog.
Oh well, I'd say I'm sorry but I have no reason to be, I am learning to be civil without groveling. The three easy words, please, thank you , and sorry, try using them all in succession the next time someone does something for you and watch the magic happen.
Example:"Can I get a beer pleas, thank you, sorry." Bam! everytime.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

A Daily Affirmation (for the Buddhist Gangster)

Today is going to be the bomb.
Everything is all good, there is no diggity doubt about that.
I am the shit, and I am confident about this and know it in my hi-zart(heart).
Today I will not allow myself to love them hoes who would hate on my quest for ultimate happiness.
I will bust a cap in the ass of all negativity.
I will keep my mind on the dharma, and the dharma on my mind until I am sipping on that sizzurp called nirvana.
And when the day has run its course, may the sandman's jimmie run deep, so deep, so deep it puts my ass to sleep.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork
p.s. I posted a picture so you know who you are dealing with. Please do not get me confused with any other local eccentrics, note the mustache, he does not have a moustache, and you know who I am talking about.

Your Main Man at Super Happy Funtime Central
Me

I am turning over a new leaf.

It has come to my attention that some people don't like the way I run this show, it is not upbeat enough and is not the nice thing to read. I want this thing to soothe your aching soul, I want it to be the last thing your read before you go night-night, dreaming of angels and that sort of shit.
We can make it, we can pull through the rut of negativity that has been kind of the focal point of this thing, and we can rise above it, the same way a Jesus or Buddha or Charles Manson would, in bold fashion. The actual reason for starting this thing was to get folks downtown to take part in this Gurrilla Artfare thing, and in order to attract people we can not continue in this vein of negativity, no more longer will your mellow be harshed. Instead your mellow will be created by reading this, you will experience a sense of calm tranquility, you are getting sleepy, very, very sleepy.....
(Okay now that those folks are sleeping I would like you other folks to know, that although I will try to be a little more upbeat, a little more BeeGee-esque, I cannot promise it will last. I would like to have this thing be a little more fluent and altogehter more helpful and informative, but I myself am not often this way, and so their will be some days where I do bitch and moan. My goal is to be as honest as possible, and less sporadic, and maybe not so much of a buzzkill.
I do not have my own access to a computer so sometimes these things are not well thought out, sometimes they are rushed and half-assed and all-around miserable. Anyway, thank you to those who understand, and even those who do not.)
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

I jambed my thumb.

Basketballs, she's been bad to me lately. Saturday while playing with some big sweaty hooligans I jambed my thumb while going up for a rebound, boom, the ball landed straight on this damn thumb of mine. I wake up the next day and it's purple all the way from the tip of my thumb, a quarter of my palm, down to about an inch down my wrist.
Then I spend the precious time that I have which is dedicated to doing nothing practical or purposeful, playing fucking video game basketball. Let me tell you this fucking team thatI am playing is just shit. They always seem choke when it really comes down to the wire, and they cannot shoot a three pointer to save their miserable pixalated lives.
Today I attempted to foul all of my players out of the game in protest of one the the computer teams players refering to my Chinese center by a racially insensitive slur. The thing is they wouldn't let me foul out all of my guys, or even forfeit the game, so some of my guys ended the game with seven or more fouls. I ended the game with 71 fouls, and they beat me 161 to 59. I believe in my heart of hearts that it was a just protest. It really showed me that these guys could work together to make something big happen, bigger than any basketball game I'll tell you that much. The solidarity they showed on that computer simulated basketball court moved me, I wish I belonged to something that cared about me that much, and who knows, maybe I do and just don't know it.
Also, on another note, for some reason I was kicked off my coveted spot on the Hall and Oates mailing list. They had sent me an E-mail concerning either Hall or Oates getting some kind of disease that led to the postponement of their upcoming tour. I sent it to several people, some people I didn't even know, and I guess this was private information for people on the Hall and Oates mailing list only, and so I have been kicked out. Perhaps someone had reported my alleged wrong-doing, maybe they just know, who knows, I guess I was in the wrong and if so I apologize, out the side of my mouth and under my breath as always. If anyone has the time you could visit the Hall and Oates website at:HallandOates.com and reccomend they reinstate me, but to tell you the truth I don't care. The e-mails were always impersonal, and you could tell neither John nor Daryl wrote them themselves, the words just sat there on the page, it had no soul, no blue-eyed-soul, and that really ultimately let me down enough to let them down.

Bands currently on my shit-list(and they know why and it is personal)
1.Tom JOnes
2.Fishbone
3.Hall and Oates
I have learned to seperate the music from the people, but any further recordings by these artists after their initial inception onto my shit list is considered null and void, it does not exist to me. Thanks a lot you bastards.
And thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Guess what daddy is bringin home for supper?

So how is everything? How are the kids, the job, all those things? Good to see you, whoever you are, welcome to my blog. I'm glad you found the time to stop by and pay a visit, it's been awhile I know, but I knew you'd be back, you always come back, you're sort of spineless in that way aren't you. Always have been, even when you were a kid, am I right, you know I am, godammit you know it. How come you don't write back, huh, why don't you pick up the phone when I call, what's your deal man? Get your act together my friend, or daddy's gonna start bringin' home some of those old fashioned ass whoopings that they outlawed after the invention of civilized society, you will miss those lumpy things you call knees, I have no doubt of this in my mind.
Ha,ha,ah,ha. Yeah you fucker, lets get this fucking boat back on the goddamn tracks or whatever it is that boats travel on, water, get it back on the water.
Thank you so much for the support,
Rick Cork

The 4th, yes of July you shithead.

The fourth of july, oh what a day, magically red white and blue appears all across the landscape, suddenly everyone is eating a hot dog for lunch and dinner, and not because they are broke, although many of them are with this economy, ah-ha. I got strangely patriotic while watching the fireworks, I obtained what could be called a special feeling in my gut, a feeling that could be described as proud, not for what we are becming, (which I on the whole consider a bad thing) but instead for what we have the potential to be, the grand experiment continues no matter how bumpy the road may be getting. No matter if you disagree with the policies, the implementation of kookie provisions in crazy "patriotic" acts, put all that aside and you tell me of another place with this much potential, this much stinking charm. I know it is not perfect, but where is, where is fucking perfect, where is there a country without some outrageous blemish peeking out from beneath the carpet, without a skeleton full of atrocities, all over the world, no matter where you go there are secrets and pasts that are being buried away, believe it. But here we can speak out, here we can do something without being silenced by murder, here can can eat well enough to have the energy to fight and be heard, to change policies with our voices instead of with our blood. You can write to your congressman and senators and tell them how you feel, hell it saved NPR and PBS with only a million or so letters. It may not be perfect but it's ours damn it and we damn well do something to fix the old girl up before she ends up in that great big history book in the sky, and not the upbeat section either.
Thanks for your support,
Rick Cork

Where do we go now..

There is some sort of magic working in the air, it's well damn right excruciatingly obvious to me at least. That's right it's annual brun the drugs up season in the town. Every year around this time the police get together and burn up all the illegal drugs they have gathered over the course of the year, and they burn them all up. If you noticed the folks in the neighborhood acting strangely lately, this would explain why of course.
Thanks for your support.
Rick Cork

Rough ass week.

Let me tell you folks, what a rough ass week, out in the sun on the roof top being cooked alive for eight dollars an hour, better than a turkey who cooks for free, but not much, at least he has the fact that he is dead and feels no pain on his side. I on the other hand do feel pain, air so thick you feel as if your are either chewing or choking on it with every breath you take, every hateful word you speak. Covered in wood dust, tar, and shingle shake, water that taste like sweat and dirt no matter how careful you are to wipe your mouth with your filthy shirt.
This is the life for me, for now, and I am content, probably because I did not have to work today, and knowing that I will be drunk and feeling no pain within the next few hours.
Did I mention the house we were working on was on a farm, did I mention the smell of cow manure and urine, the mountains of bugs in the 120 degree attic that I swept clean, alone, me and a broom,shovel, and a little blue tarp.
Thanks for your support,
Rick Cork

Did you know ( some fun facts)

Did you know how hard I worked to get this house clean, I guess not because if you did you wouldn't have come in here with your dirty ass fucking Air Force Ones and rub your filth all over what was once a clean damn carpet. Oh well, you win some, and you're a fucking asshead bitch, on the real homey, on the motherfuckin' real.
Thank you for your support,
Rick "the dick" Cork

If you read the paper..

If you read the Rock River Times and that is why you are here then here is the information about the guerrilla artfare.
Every sunday we meet at the main street mall at about one, we then sit around and try to kick out the cob webs and the creative blocks, then we write, we draw, and we do things together as a group, and it feels like something exciting might be happening for once in this town, so that's what we do, we have other ideas but we are still in the discussion stage.
Hopefully we will see you there at some point and time in history.
Thanks for the support,
Rick Cork

I roofed..

You want to know what I did today, I roofed 'cause I'm a fuckin' roofer, so I roofed. I got covered in wood shake and shingle dust and I sweated in the how fucking sun somewhere right outside of Byron Illinois, so yeah that's what the fuck I did today just in case you were wondering.
In other news, I'm probably going to go eat bagel bites and stare out the window.
Thanks for your support(like I fucking need it anyway)
Rick Cork
p.s. If you are reading this you may in fact be the shithead, not A shithead, but THE shithead, yeah you brother.

Whoever is the cause of my sleep...

Whoever is responsible for making me tired and uncreative all the time, especially as of late can suck on my sorry excuse for balls. Whoever you are I would like it immensely if you could find it in your blackest of hearts to cease and desist. Please return me to my former self, which although still quite a bit sleepy and slow on the uptake, was not quite as much so as I am now.
I guess that is all I have to say to that person, or persons.
In other news I am reading books, many books, and some might say that is a good thing, I on the other hand would just say that is A THING which I do since I have had no work to go to as of late. I am on the link card for fucks sake and that is not something I had planned out for myself. On the other hand masturbating to an old lady as she spun the giant wheel on the Price I$ Right was never part of the game plan either. Sometimes I guess lif just deals us a strange hand, and sometimes you use that strange hand to masturbate to strange things, and so on and so forth, ad infinitum-tu-tum-tum-tums.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

The first was yesterday, then we saw Batman..

So yesterday was the first day for the Guerrilla Artfare, it didn't go according to plan, though this may be due to the fact that there was no plan, and so if the plan was in fact no plan then I can say that it did go according to plan, but that in itself would be a plan, and well it gets a little more vague and hazy after that, so we stop there.
About six people were present at one point, mostly it consisted of much talking and little to no artwork or talk of artwork, perhaps the talking was the artform we had chosen, and perhaps not. Either way there was no pressure to get anything done, and it turned out to be a handsome day to sit outside in the company of people you don't know all that well, but all in all it was enjoyable. Exactly what shape it will take is up in the air, and althoug it is my idea in the first place, I do not plan on being a leader or a planner or anything of that sort, I think it should take shape on it's own, no sort of graven image or figurehead, just a big blob of information and entertainment that forms its own identity and face at it's own pace. Sort of like how the original single-celled organisms began and begat more advanced species, hopefully this will do the same as far as some sort of palpable art community in this town is concerned.
Then we went and watched Batman and it was really not very good.
So yeah, thanks for the support,
Rick Cork

Remember...

Alright remember this: Guerrilla Artfare this Sunday at noon in the North Main street mall.
Bring your sketch pad, your guitar, even your stinking hand drum (only if you really have to and you refuse to come otherwise) bring your portfolio, your ideas, maybe a sandwich, bring your video camera, bring your laptop computer, whatever it is that you feel comfortable bringing and being creative on( although a mattress is discouraged you can bring this, however this is not the ideal time or place, and we will not sink with that ship my friend). So yeah that about sums it up.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

You are a Miracle (1 in a series of four)

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It has been awhile but it will be worth it... if you believe.

So I'm back from Ireland, I've actually been back for a bit, almost two weeks, almost, but I had nothing to say, to anyone. Now, well now I kind of do but not really. For those of you artists who are in the town of Rockford Illinois or the surrounding areas I have an offer for you. Every Sunday bginning on June 19th I invite all of you to come downtown to the north manin street mall and sit, sit and paint, sit and doodle, sit and write, sit and play your guitar, sit and stare at your feet, or talk, but just sit for free in the company of other artists who will motivate and be motivated by you. This is an excercise in community, this is an excercise in creativity, this is an excercise in freedom, as in it is free, no two drink minimum, bring a snack, or we can picnic, whatever, bring your friends, tell your friends. The name of this event is the Guerilla Artfare, every Sunday at around noon, again at the north main street mall, by NAT and Kortman and all that stuff, I hope to see you there sometime, or not.
Thanks for your support,
Rick Cork

I am in Ireland and you are not

Hi everybody I am in Ireland and you are not. Thank you for your support and I will talk to you when you get back. Oh and of course thanks for your support.
Signed,
Rick Cork

Sorry guys but I'm leaving...

That's right boys and girls I'm going to have to take a break from the blogging for a bit as I travel to Ireland which is all the way on another continent called Europe. I'm not sure if they have computers over there, but if they do I will try and stay in contact with all of you guys. It will be nice to take a vacation from the blog, I am having a hard time keeping up with the demands that come with having my very own blog, hopefully I will come back fully rested and restored and will be able to deliver the same hard hitting blog that you have all come to expect of me. So if they do not have computers over there I will be sure to inform you all of what it is like to live in a foreign country for what will add up to be just a little over a week. Until then keep reading all the old blogs and maybe thinking them over a little more and try to come to a better conclusion and understanding of me and the world around me, oh and by the way, thanks for the support.
Signed,
Rick Cork
p.s. Believe it or not I will find time to miss you all during my busy schedule.

Brand New Good for you

What is it that you want or need in this life of yours? Would you believe me if I lied to you?
Everything is going to be just fine from here on out. Thank you for your support.
Rick Cork