Saturday, August 27, 2005

In the Eye Of the Pain Hurricane ( I wanted to say tornado, but I don't know if they have eyes)

Hey there everybody, how is it-your life- going? I am not actually in pain, or anything resembling pain, but that phrase popped inot my head and I felt compelled to write it down due to a mild case of OCD. I of course have never been diagnosed with OCD, but if I were shot in the head by a shotgun I would not neccesarily need a doctor to tell me that something was wrong, you just kind of go with your gut feeling on some things.
Speaking of gut feelings, did you guys know I actually have the outer part of my right leg attached to my stomach, it's called a skin graft. I also have a manmade belly button, they had to cut a hole in the skin that they put over my stomach in the area of my belly button. If I had actually been concious I would have asked them not to cut the hole just to see what would have happened, I think that that would have been the very definition of interesting at least for a year or so. I am at school and I just got done with my Saturday Spanish class which leads in nicely to the television program Sabado Gigante, four hours of spanish language variety programming.
Speaking of variety shows, I am putting one on in about two weeks at the Irish Rose and I am in need of talent, or what passes for talent nowadays. Are you ultra bendy, can you smoke cigarettes out of inappropriate holes in your body, can you do something besides just sit around and watch t.v. all day? If so please contact me, even the smallest thing would make a world of difference. Contact me @ theguywiththethings.hotmail.com. Maybe this link will even work this time, maybe, who knows, you probably do, good for you.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I Didn't Miss You, But I Kind Of Did.

It's been awhile since I have written anything on this here thing. One of the reasons is that each time I would "log-on" a great feeling of depression would come down from the ceiling and take the wind out of my sails. I just couldn't bring myself to write, not for the life of me.
I suppose the reason is this thing has been sort of depressing as of late, mopey and uneventful and pointlessly self reflective, like a diary almost, and open diary that people could just drop in on and have their way with. I felt vulnerable, and scared, and alone, like a mute retarded man in a box: a box made of lead.
I just tried to use a colon and I do not know if I used it properly, but it felt right; and since I am taking English at the moment I figured I would field test it-the colon that is- and see how it worked.
Now see I used a semi-colon and a dash in the last sentence: I am not sure if I used them properly.
Enough of that, I just want you to know I am back in fighting mode, and will take on all comers.
If that does not make any sense, well, all the better for fighting.
A special not to all you special people with special talents such as spitting fire or swallowing swords or some shit such as that: I will be celebrating my 26th birthday at the Irish Rose and will be holding a talent/variety show at that time. The date is September 11th, yeah the bad day where the world went crazy and America began to eat itself away with fear and revenge as well as in fightng and back biting. This however will be a day of celebration and jubilation, a sign that we are moving forward in our pursuit of the American dream of pointless and endless forms of amusement. If you are interested in performing a song, a skit, or a little dance number, or if you know someone who would be interested please e-mail me @http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com and I will gladly put you on what is now a short list of entertainment.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Where Do We Go From Here ( Didn't we have some good times)

I am trying not to take myself so seriously, I am trying to not be so concious of everything, trying to just live, "go with the flow", all that shit that I know would feel so good and right and it's exactly what I need to do. The only times I have been truly happy are these times, these moments when you live with the head turned off, not listening to that little voice that makes you aware of every little misstep, that questions your every act, what is my motivation, why am I doing this, where is it leading me.
Trying to focus on unfocusing does not work, being aware of your inability to be unaware is not the way to go, how do you just turn off the concious and walk through the day unconciously, a breezy sort of parusal through the world of matter and weight and touch and sight and sound.
Super Happy Fun Time where are you now that I need you must, why have you abandoned me to these boring wolves, why am I forced to ramble on about nothing for paragraphs on end?
Tomorrow maybe things will get back to being weird and interesting, for today it is more of the boring quarter life crisis, thank you and good night.
Oh, and by the way, thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Monday, August 15, 2005

Here is the Brick Wall, There Goes Your Dignity

I am back from a trip to Wisconsin, a chance to catch up on old things, and drink too much, and not think about all of the things it is that you normally think about, I needed a vacation, a vacation from my problems. Now that I'm back though, all my problems are still here, I still haven't workied in what's going on three weeks, I haven't been able to help pay a goddamn bill since I don't know when, I am finally going back to school but I don't have the money to pay for the books, there are still broken empty promises being made by may Dad, he can still let me down and lead me on and lie to me and have me believe in what he says even halfway across the country.
Where do I start, what is the proper way to get out of a fix like this, who can I turn to when you turn away, I've lost my creative juices, ambition and drive are at an all time low, these are the tough roads, where some people turn to religion, or drugs, or suicide, not me, I just turn mediocre, I curl up and fade into this background version of me, I lose interest in progress or any of that sort of stuff. I know it's not like I'm in the middle of fighting some war, I'm not starving in a third world country, my town is not some disaster area, I have food and a roof over my head, I have people around me whom I care for and who care for me, yet I am still feeling like shit, and rightly so, and I am aware that this is my own mess to clean up, I am aware that I put myself in this bad position many years ago and I am just now reaping what I have sown, but knowing all this does not make it any better, not in an immediate cure all kind of way anyway, but it is one of those small little steps you have to take in order to get where your going, the first step on a long journey to somewhere you've never been to before, somewhere you never imagined you could get to. Fucking baby steps, baby stepping to the future, stop kicking myself when I'm down, or allowing others to do so.
Super Boring Self-Help Time, I know, and I apologize, but no one made you read the damn thing, I'm just spilling my guts for the sake of spilling my guts, and now I feel a little bit better seeing it written down, and how ridiculous it reads, and how good I really do have it, and everything is going to be fine, the sun WILL come out tomorrow, and where there is a will there is a way, and if anyone has it I could use $322.50 to help me pay for my school books, I'll pay you back on or around October 6th when the rest of my grant money comes through, I need it by thursday so don't hesitate to write, every little bit will help out.
Thank you for your support( monetary and otherwise),
Rick Cork

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A picture of me my Grandpa and the best woman that ever lived



This

is a picture of me as a young blonde man, the man holding me is my Grandfather Bob Beardsley, Bob is not short for Robert, it's just Bob. The dark haired woman is my Grandmother, she passed away about a year ago, she has dark hair in this picture, but I will always remember her with blonde hair.

This lady might just look like some random woman, someone you might look over at the Wal-Mart or something, but if you would just give her a minute of your time you would have the pleasure of meeting one of the greatest women who ever walked the face of this god forsaken planet. This is a woman who would go out of her way to make me smile, no matter how bad of a day she was having, no matter how much stress and anxiety she was experiencing, she would be there for me to make my sorry ass smile.

She was an unselfish woman, a woman who would give me her last dollar, or anything I would fancy in her house, I would end up taking home at some point. This is a woman who was my sanctuary for a long time, my safe haven, she would take me in and nurture me back to what resembled a good clear thinking individual, and she would send me on my way, even though at times I never wanted to leave her sight. This is a woman who I distinctly recall squating down in the middle of her own kitchen and pissing her pants because, well, it was funny. I won't go on for a long time, I'll come back to her now and then, I just wanted to share something with you that was important to me, something that shaped my life in one way or another, in this case many times over. I also just wanted you people to have the oppurtunity to lay your eyes on one of the greatest women that ever lived before you passed on, I am sure many of you never saw her, if any of you ever did at all, and I'm sure you might have seen her at the store or a Garage sale and just looked her over and dismissed her as some random human being in a world full of random human being, and I thought I would just give you a second chance to gaze upon her glory one last time, and reconsider your first impression.

Thank you for your support,

Rick Cork

If You Don't Understand It(A Guide To Enjoy The Super Happy Fun Time)

Here's a picture I did a while back, I thought maybe you people might enjoy it because it is funny or something, maybe it's profound, or maybe you just like the color purple and guys with coyboy hats. I am working on getting some of my other art together and doing a thing with just pictures, but we'll see if that ever happens.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

It's official...I've been had....

After going nuts on yesterdays installment of The Super Happy Fun Time, after being so over joyed I did not care if I made a fool of myself, it has come to my attention, I am not number one, there was no Gary, it was a hoax, a ruse, and I was fooled into joy, and now I am sad.
I am sad because I thought there was a Gary, I was sad because I thought he had taken the time to write how he felt, how he felt that I was number one, but now I am back to nothing, sent off into the void of obscurity once again, with my beaten tail between my wobbly weak legs.
There is no Gary, just some prankster who feels the need to mess with people's lives, who feels the need to pull the rug from under poor men's feet, someone who is jealous because her boyfriend will never be the man that I am, because her boyfriend has taken everything that made Rick Cork a name that could be trusted and counted on to provide the very best in local entertainment. Very well whatever, they know who they are, and I hope they are very happy, because I am not, not now, but soon, for I seek vengeance, and I seek retribution, there will be virtual blood on the virtual streets and the Super Happy Fun Time will be had by al but those two, for they shall feel my pain tenfold.
There may be no Gary, but there is still a Gary Award, and it goes out to the person who best exemplifies the Anti-Super Happy Funtime spirit, it goes out to those who would piss on my perfectly fine parade. This week the Gary goes out to Matilda Von Mordor, I hope you are happy that you made a mockery of the Super Happy Fun Time, I hope you are happy that you have made me the laughingstock of the bloggerworld, made me into the outcast you always saw me as, out in the cold, starving, hoping that one day I will be allowed to wander those happy halls of Bloggerdom with my chin up once again, someday, you can count on it.
To everyone else, thank you for your Support,
Rick Cork

Monday, August 8, 2005

It's Official, I am #1

Good news Super Happy Funnites, we , or ar least I am number one, I knew we could do it way back when this thing started, and thanks to you, and myself, we have finally done it.
Now that we are number one it means that people are going to be gunning for our spot, it means that we are not safe anymore, we don't have the luxury of being the underdog or the little engine that could anymore, now we are the big engine that did.
So don't expect this roller coaster ride of action to suddenly become inactive or unimportant, don't expect us to fade into obscurity like Buster Douglas did after defeating a stunned Mike Tyson and shocking the world at large, and then falling off the face of the planet the next week.
No my friends we have reached the summit, and it has a nice view, a damn nice view, and I intend to see it for a long time, with all of you at my side I believe we can do it, until I die.
Speaking of when I die, who will keep this sweet little puppy running, that is a good question.
If any of you folks out there think you've got what it takes to play in the big leagues down here in Super Happy Fun Timesville, please feel free to send me a sample of your work @ http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com. As you are all aware Peter Jennings just died and it made me realize that maybe I might die someday as well, and I need someone in place to carry the heavy load for me after I am dead or whatever.
Also thanks to Gary for giving me the good news about being number one, you are also probably number one at something too Gary, and I hope you find out what it is before you pass on, because after you are dead, there is really no way to find that kind of thing out.
For giving me the good news I am proud to make Gary the Super Happy Fun Time Gary of the week, the Gary is an award that I just made up right now that is awarded to the Super Happy Fun Time Super Happy Fan of the Week.
Congratulations on your Gary Gary, and thank you and everyone else for the support,
Rick Cork

Wednesday, August 3, 2005

Now I am A Big Man Who is On the Campus Or something like that....

I am at the local college, I have registered for what they call classes where I will learn things which will allow me to become successful and fulfill my "potential", and once I have learned what they consider to be enough they will give me a paper, a special piece of paper that syas I can go about the rest of my life in pursuit of excellence and total domination of everything marginally related to my field of interest.
That is a bunch of hogwash, I don't know why I am going to school exactly, maybe because I don't have to pay for it, maybe to meet people outside of my normal social circle, perhaps just for something to do to while away the hours in my twilight years, or maybe just maybe I want to learn something and become a better person in the proccess. Because the more you know the more you are able to dominate and control conversations, and everybody loves that guy, the guy that rambles on about anything and everything, the man who can't be stumped, the guy who would look gorgeous behind the podium on Jeopardy, well that's going to be me goddammit, so get used to my voice because I will be talking it up soon enough brother, prepare to be led astray by the best.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Tuesday, August 2, 2005

My days as a Wascally Wabbit are done

I admit sometimes I miss being yong and dumb and not really caring about what happens, to me or the world in general. I miss not being interested or bothered by major world events or politics or all of these other things we are inundated with everyday.
It's not that I don't care, because I believe I genuinely do, it's just that sometimes I miss the ability to not care, to not have a worry in the world that didn't have something to do with me directly. This is not easy to say, in fact it is embarrassing and totally undermines everything I've spent the last couple of years trying to build for and around myself.
I want to be a good person, an unselfish person, the kind of guy who goes out of his way for others without even giving it a second thoght, I want to be the American Ghandi, or the male version of Mother Theresa, I want to help those in need, not with just thoughtless handouts, but to help others help themselves. I want to leave the world a better place than the one I came into, I want to make an impact on the people around me in the short time that I am here.
I don't want to be some vigilante or crusader, some kind of cult of personality or figure head, I just want people to look back when I'm gone and dead and say, "That Rick guy, he sure was a good fella', I always liked him, not because he was rich or handsome, though he is very good-looking as far as I am concerned, but I just liked being around him, he made me feel good."
But sometimes goddammit, I just want to sit there and not think, not feel the urge to go outand do a damn thing with my life, sometimes you just want to run around drinking and screaming and tearing the city and people to shreds, sometimes you don't want to think about consequences, or tomorrows, or next years, or centuries even, sometimes you just want now to be the only thing that matters, to imagine it has no affect on the future, or that there won't even be a future.
Unfortunately this is not the world we live in, everything matters, everything is building on the last thing, there are consequences for your actions as well as your inaction, and at times it is completely overwhelming and crippling, you want to do so many things, there are so many oppurtunities that you are paprlyzed and end up doing nothing, end up missing every last goddamn oppurtunity, left standing outside the party staring out into the nothing that you have built for yourself.
The fact is, sometimes you just miss being fifteen, and it's embarassing, but it's the truth.
Oh well onward and upward, it's ten years later and what do you have to show for it.
Well I'm still alive godammit and that's a start.
Good luck to me, and good luck to you, may our days be fruitful and plentiful.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork

Monday, August 1, 2005

Wow wee woh wah.....

Yesterday we had a pretty good turn out at the Guerrilla artfare, who knew hispanic Jehovahs witnesses were so into arts and culture in this town. The Witnesses only stayed shortly before they went on about their daily business of ignoring birthdays and Holidays, hopefully they will be down again next week, they added a special flavor to the whole ordeal, and they make a lot of garbage.
It might sound wrong, and it may be the wrong thing to say, but I figure it will be at least half okay since I am half hispanic. What I wanted to say, or question, or wonder about is the hispanic Jehovah witness. From my experience Hispanic people are a festive people, they go all out at birthday parties and during the holidays, just how exactly do the hispanic Jehovahs witnesses supress this urge to participate in the celebrations, that from my experience, hispanics excell at.
My Dads side of the family really knows how to throw a hell of a party, and it just seems instinctual and effortless on their part, I was just curious.
Yeah, sparking some controversy, sounds good.
A man who shows up most Sundays as of late also made his presence felt by putting on a karate demonstration before he went on a twenty minute rant about how he was going to have the chamber of commerce sponsor his karate team, (which is not quite assemble yet, if anyone is interested he's the sweaty guy who lost some fingers due to frostbite). His team of Karate experts which he will personally train will work for the city and take care of the kind of jobs that the police wouldn't touch. He does need to work on his skills a bit, he's 45 and a bit out of shape, but he figures that by June of 2010 he will be in the best possible shape of his life, I for one believe him very much.
Also one last thing, I am trying to put together what will be a blind art show, two people working on seperate parts of what will eventually be one piece, all without seeing what the other is doing. It will be two boards that line up at certain premarked points with a certain color to bring the pieces together. No one will know what the entire piece looks like until the day of the show. If anyone is interested please contact me, there is no place to display yet, nor a set time, but I figure we can get together and begin working on it for the next year, if the next year even comes.
By the by, if tomorrow never comes would you know h0w much I love you? Just Curious.
Thank you for your support,
Rick Cork.

Contact me @http://theguywiththethings@hotmail.com