I am trying not to take myself so seriously, I am trying to not be so concious of everything, trying to just live, "go with the flow", all that shit that I know would feel so good and right and it's exactly what I need to do. The only times I have been truly happy are these times, these moments when you live with the head turned off, not listening to that little voice that makes you aware of every little misstep, that questions your every act, what is my motivation, why am I doing this, where is it leading me.
Trying to focus on unfocusing does not work, being aware of your inability to be unaware is not the way to go, how do you just turn off the concious and walk through the day unconciously, a breezy sort of parusal through the world of matter and weight and touch and sight and sound.
Super Happy Fun Time where are you now that I need you must, why have you abandoned me to these boring wolves, why am I forced to ramble on about nothing for paragraphs on end?
Tomorrow maybe things will get back to being weird and interesting, for today it is more of the boring quarter life crisis, thank you and good night.
Oh, and by the way, thank you for your support,
Rick Cork
